


Don't Let Me Go This Alone

by mukedayparade



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Ashton and Luke are best friends, Boarding School, High School, Luke and Michael are ex best friends, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Muke Clemmings, This is more angsty than I meant to make it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 02:33:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2675684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mukedayparade/pseuds/mukedayparade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't care what my parents said. I'm not going to be the new kid's mentor, Hemmings."</p><p>or,</p><p>Michael and Luke are family friends, and Luke is having trouble adjusting to his new school. Michael is not going to be the one to take him under his wing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Let Me Go This Alone

"So Luke," Mrs. Clifford started. "Are you excited to start at the high school tomorrow?"

"Uh, I guess. I'm nervous, is all. I haven't gone to school here since 7th grade, so I won't really have any friends." Luke mumbled the fear that'd been replaying in his mind since his parents told him he was leaving Middleton, his boarding school that he loved, where all his friends were, to come back to his town and go to public school.

"Oh, don't worry dear! You'll make lots of friends, and besides, Michael will be there."

Luke glanced over at Michael who was sat beside him, shoving a forkful of food into his mouth. When he heard his name, he looked up.

"What?" He mumbled, food in his mouth. Luke wrinkled his nose and turned back to Mrs. Clifford.

"I'm just a little nervous about adjusting to it all. New school, new kids. You know." Luke smiled sheepishly, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck.

"Oh, don't you worry sweetie! Michael will show you around. You two can sit together at lunch and he can introduce you to his friends, and walk you to your classes. It'll be wonderful!"

Luke brightened up at the idea, grinning. Back when he went to school here and lived here full time, he and Michael were inseperable. He was the only reason Luke didn't want to go to Middleton in the first place. But when he came back that first summer, Michael had changed. He no longer wanted to hang out with Luke and he started hanging around with bad people. Luke would never admit it now, but he really missed Michael. He missed his old best friend.

"That sounds great, Mrs. Clifford. Thank you."

"Of course, Luke! You're like Michael's brother, we would never let you go it alone if he was there."

The rest of the evening was spent eating and making small talk. One thing Luke loved about being home was dinners with the Cliffords. The families had been friends for as long as he could remember, and since he and Michael were little, they'd had these dinners. He'd missed them a lot when he was away, and that was one of the only reasons he was glad to be back.

~*~

Luke laid in bed awake, unable to sleep. It was nearly 2 AM, and he had _school_ tomorrow. But, that was the exact reason he couldn't sleep. 

He eventually caved, reaching over to his bedside table for his phone. He knew only one person he could call to talk to at any time. 

"Luke?" Ashton's voice was sleepy and Luke felt kind of bad. But he knew his best friend didn't mind much.

"Hey Ash. 'm sorry I woke you."

"No, 's okay. You alright?"

"Can't sleep. Too nervous."

"Ah, that's right. School starts tomorrow."

"I'm so scared Ash. The only thing that makes it okay is that Michael's mum said he'd show me around and such."

"Well that's good. At least you have one friendly face."

The two were silent for a bit, just the sounds of their breathing echoing in the phones.

"I miss Middleton. I miss you." Luke said the second part so softly he wasn't sure if he wanted Ashton to hear.

"I miss you too. School's not the same without you here."

"I wish I could go back."

"I do too, Luke." 

"Maybe my parents will let me come up for a visit one weekend. Just to see everyone."

"That'd be really nice. Everyone misses you a lot."

Luke went silent, because if he spoke, he knew his voice would give away the fact that he had tears in his eyes.

"You'll be fine tomorrow, Luke. I promise."

Luke nodded, although he knew Ashton couldn't see him.

"Okay." He finally choked out. "I'm gonna go, I'll let you sleep."

"Alright. Call me if you need me tomorrow, yeah?"

"Okay."

"Goodnight Luke, love you."

"Love you too, Ash. Tell everyone I say hi."

"I will."

And the line went dead. 

~*~

Luke's hands shook as he stood outside the school, willing himself to go inside. He'd been out here 10 minutes, just trying to get himself to man up and go to school. 

He pushed the door open, stepping inside.

He was immediately confused, unable to find the front office. He looked around, trying to find a sign or something, but all it did was make his head spin. No one bothered to stop and help him, although he certainly looked lost. He remembered his first day at Middleton, when he'd been doing this exact same thing. The only difference is someone came up to help him. Here, no one bothered.

He eventually found the office, collecting his schedule, locker information, and a map, and being sent back into the hall. He stood there, looking around to try to find which way to go. He looked at the map, but couldn't locate where he was right now on it.

Luke was so screwed. 

He spun around, scanning for a familiar face. Okay, he hadn't gone to school in this town in 4 years, and he was never even _in_ this town much, but there had to be _someone_ who remembered him. 

And then something caught his eye. A shock of bright red hair.

Luke sighed in relief, hurrying over to where Michael stood talking to a few people. He recognized Calum Hood, who'd been over the Cliffords' once when his family came for dinner. 

"Michael!"

The older boy glanced back at him, registering who he was. And then he turned back to his friends.

Luke furrowed his eyebrows, confused at his behavior. He tried again, guessing that he had thought he was someone else.

"Michael! Hey." Luke exclaimed once he'd reached the group.

"Uh..."

"God, is it good to see a friendly face. Can you help me? I don't know where my first class is."

"Uh, sorry new kid, but I'm not the welcoming committee. Go find someone else to be your tour guide."

Luke's eyes widened, appalled at his words. Michael was his oldest friend in the world, what was going on?

"Michael, it's Luke. Luke Hemmings."

"Congrats, man. Why don't you run off, yeah? Don't need to be associating with a sophomore."

"Bu–"

"I said, fuck off." 

Luke looked petrified, but nodded. He quickly backed away, stumbling over his own feet as he did so. This was not the Michael he'd been best friends with. He didn't know who this was.

~*~

Luke walked into the lunch room and glanced around nervously. He'd gone the whole day alone, managing to get himself lost 5 times. Not to mention the endless amount of kids who'd shoved him and called him 'faggot' or 'homo' or 'fatty'. He wasn't even overweight anymore, but some nicknames just stuck. And now he was at lunch and had no one to sit with.

But then he caught sight of that bright red hair again. 

Despite what Michael'd said this morning, Luke walked over to where he was sitting with Calum and some other friends. He took a deep breath before smiling widely at Michael.

"Hi Michael. Can I sit here?" 

The older boy glanced up at him, and laughed. _Laughed_. Right in Luke's face. 

"I thought I told you to fuck off this morning, sophomore."

And okay, was he seriously going to use Luke's _grade_ as his excuse? So what if Luke had to stay behind a grade when he switched? The school systems were different and he couldn't be a junior yet.

"I don't know anyone else here." He mumbled, looking at his feet.

"Go sit outside with the rest of the kids who have no friends."

"Bu–"

"We aren't _friends_ , Hemmings. Got it?"

"But your mum said–"

"I don't give a shit what my mum said to you!" Michael raised his voice. "We aren't friends. Why don't you go back to your preppy asshole boarding school? Everyone was happier when you weren't here."

Luke nodded, biting his lip to keep from crying. Because, okay, that hurt. He spun around and hurried away, all the way out of the cafeteria and down the hall. He wanted to go into a bathroom and cry, but he remembered that he didn't know where any _were_. And that just made him want to cry more. 

So he found himself sitting against a wall in a hallway that was much more hidden away, his knees pulled up to his chest, and his phone clutched to his ear. He prayed to god that Ashton had a free period and would pick up the phone.

"Hi, you've reached Ashton. I can't come to the pho–"

Luke hit end, throwing his phone against the opposite wall.

Why did his parents have to make him move home? He was _happy_ at Middleton, he finally felt like he fit in, for once. And now he was back at this horrible school in this godforsaken town, where nobody knew him and those who did hated him. He remembered now why he'd left in the first place.

And now it was going to happen again. The kids would pick on Luke, because he was an easy target. That's why they'd done it when he was little. But this would be worse, because now he didn't have Michael to protect him. 

He didn't realize he was crying until he felt the tears hitting his knees. 

So there he was, back in his hometown, in high school with all the kids who'd bullied him in elementary school, and his old best friend hated him. And he was sitting in a hidden hallway, with his phone probably broken, and his face buried in his knees.

So far, being back home wasn't so great.

After who knows how long, he heard a faint buzzing. Glancing up, he saw his phone screen lighting up across the hall, vibrating against the floor. He scrambled up, picking it up quickly, and thanking god that it wasn't damaged.

"Ash?" He hated how his voice cracked as he spoke.

"Luke? What's wrong?"

And then it all came spilling out.

"They're so mean, Ash. The kids who used to pick on me are back at it, but a million times worse. And they found out I'm gay, I don't know how, but they keep calling me a f–fag. And M–ichael hates me. I don't know why, but he does. I keep getting lost and everyone keeps shoving me, and all the kids either don't know who I am or still _hate_ me. And I just want to go back to Middleton, I can't make it here. I could deal with the bullying when I was little because Michael always stood up for me, but I can't do this when he hates me. I want to go home, I want to go back to Middleton. I miss you and I miss everyone there and I miss not having people do this to me."

"Oh my god." A voice that was no Ashton's, was not coming from his phone, said.

Luke turned his tear stained face and looked up to see who but Michael Clifford standing above him.

"A–ash. I h–ave to go."

"Luke, wait, are you–"

"I'll call you back later. Love you, bye." He rushed out the end, hoping Michael didn't hear.

"Lu–"

"You weren't supposed to hear that."

"They're picking on you again?"

"Of course they are! Why wouldn't they?" Luke looked back down at his knees, sniffling softly.

"Luke, I–"

"How do they know I'm gay? Did you tell them? No one else at this school knew, Michael. Why would you tell them?" The tears had started up again, streaming down his face quickly.

"I–I–I told one person, and maybe someone overheard or something. I just told Calum, I swear."

"Well now the whole school knows! And they have more things to pick on me for, so thanks."

"Luke, I swear to god I will kill the next person who makes a comment to you."

Luke laughed through his tears. The fact that Michael, who was just telling him how happy everyone was without him, was now saying he'd protect him, was hilarious.

"I want to go back to boarding school."

"No you—"

"I do!" He cut Michael off, wiping his nose. "I fit in there. No one made fun of me, no one cared that I wasn't attractive, no one even cared that I was gay. I was happy there." 

"I don't care that you're gay."

"What does it matter? You hate me."

"I don–"

"You told me everyone was happier when I wasn't here. It's true, they were. You were."

"I wasn't."

"Then why do you hate me?" Luke's voice got louder suddenly, and more tears slipped down his cheeks. "We were best friends. You've been my best friend since as long as I remember. What did I do so wrong?"

"You left!"

"Wha–"

"You fucking left, Luke. You went away to your big fancy school and left me and this town behind. You barely visited and never called. You _forgot_ about me. That's what you did."

"I didn't forget about you. I couldn't _ever_ forget about you." 

"It felt like you did. I didn't want you to go in the first place, but I figured we'd stay best friends. I was so naive, I thought you being gone wouldn't change anything. But then you didn't call, and when you came home you were alwaus calling Ashton or some of your other new friends, and I didn't matter anymore."

"Because they made me feel like I belonged for once!" Luke defended.

"That's what I was always trying to do!"

"I wasn't happy here! Living here sucked, Michael. It does now too. I was insecure and sad and I didn't know what to do to get happy. Do you want to know why my parents sent me away?"

"Because you weren't being challenged enough here, I know."

"No! That was what I told everyone, what my parents told everyone too. It was because they found my suicide note."

Michael made a noise that sounded like he was choking.

"Wh–what?"

"I was stupid enough to write it in advance, and my parents found it in my bathroom. I wad planning on doing it the last day of seventh grade. I'd seen stuff about it on the internet and I couldn't deal with the people at school anymore so I decided dying would be better."

"Luke."

"My parents found out and completely flipped shit. They sent me to a therapist and I ended up spilling everything about the kids at school and how they made me feel like I did. So my parents did research and found Middleton. That's why I left."

"Why didn't you _tell_ me?" 

"I dunno. Thought you'd be better off without me anyway. I wrote to you in the note, I figured it'd be enough. I was scared that if I told you, you'd either tell someone and they'd stop me, or you'd..."

"I'd what?"

Luke looked down, swallowing thickly. His voice was so soft Michael could barely hear it, but he did. "You'd agree with me."

And then Michael's arms were wrapping around him and he was grabbing at Michael's shirt and crying harder and Michael was running a hand through his hair. 

"I would never agree with you. I can't believe you felt like that and I didn't know."

Luke shrugged.  

"I'm so sorry, Luke. For that, for today. For everything."

"'s okay."

"No." Michael took Luke's face in his hands and looked into his eyes. "It's not okay. I don't ever want you to feel like that again."

"I missed you Michael. I'm sorry I never really talked to you. I didn't want you to find out and I was scared for other reasons."

"What reasons?"

Luke swallowed, debating whether he wanted to tell him. He knew it could break their friendship, just after they became friends again. He knew it could be horrible. But he also knew he didn't want to keep this a secret any longer.

"If you hate me, I get it. I just want to tell you. To get it off my chest, finally."

"I won't hate you."

Luke laughed humorlessly. He had no idea.

"I, uh. I liked you. Like you."

"What do you...?"

"I _like_ like you. That was how I found out I was gay." Luke looked down at his hands, not wanting to see Michael's reaction. He was suddenly hyperaware that he was basically in Michael's lap.

"Oh."

"I get it if you hate me, or think I'm gross. I just didn't want to keep it a secret any longer."

"I–you–you like me?"

Luke nodded. "How are you feeling about that? Are you, like, grossed out, or...?"

"I feel...stupid."

"What?" Luke looked up at him, confusion all over his face.

"I feel like a complete idiot."

" _Why_?" 

"Because, I've been, like, in love with you since you left."

" _What_?" 

"That's why I told Calum when I found out you were gay. I thought, maybe I had a chance with you."

"Holy shit."

Michael grinned down at him, as Luke slowly tried to take everything in.

"You're so cute when you look all confused." Michael mumbled.

Luke flushed, looking up at him.

"So you like me?"

"Yeah, idiot."

"Wow."

"Can I kiss you now?"

Luke's eyes widened, but he nodded. And as Michael's lips pressed against his, it all fell into place.

~*~

Luke ended up going back to Middleton the following term anyway. His parents realized that it wasn't a good idea to send him back there, and consented to sending him back to boarding school. Despite him having Michael, and consequently having Calum, Luke wasn't completely happy back home.

But Michael visited him nearly every other weekend, and they spent vacations together back home. And Michael made Luke swear to god that he'd never leave him clueless again if he was upset. He wasn't going to let him go this alone ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> I got a little carried away with the angsty stuff this was supposed to be more fluffy but oh well. Hope you like it let me know :)


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